10. The “You Lie!” outburst from SC Rep. Joe Wilson: …and just when you thought the Rethuglicans couldn’t sink any lower, this redneck cuts off the president as if they’re having the Joint Congressional Address at “Magic City” and he didn’t get his lap-dance yet! I mean, weren't we ALL taught in Kindergarten it’s rude to interrupt other people when they are speaking? I guess some folks just never learn to play well with others, do they?
President Obama’s REAL Response: He accepted Wilson
The “Negro Dialect” Option: “Ohhh Snap, I KNOW somebody ain’t tryin’ to bogard my shine up in here... and who you callin’ a LIE? How ‘bout I’m gonna’ LIE my foot up whoever’s @ss that said that! Michelle, hold me down baby...they don’t EVEN know!"
9. “That One” comment by John McCain to Obama during the debates: Who could forget Senator McCain looking every bit the ‘Crazy-@ss old codger-candidate’ that he was as he paced back and forth, muttering under his breath because he was losing to ‘That One’! He couldn’t even look Obama in the eye, much less refer to him by his name.
President Obama’s REAL Response: He dismissed it.
The “Negro Dialect” Option: "Um, why can’t you call me by what my mama and ‘nem named me, huh?...say what, say what? My name is Barack Hussein Oooo-Baaa-Maaa, say-it-with-me-now…OBAMA! …and what is “That One” spose’ to mean anyhow, is that the new ‘N-word’ or somethin?"
8. “The Beer Summit” : So ludicrous was the arrest of sixty-something year old revered public intellectual, author and Harvard professor , Dr. Henry Louis Gates at his own home; I’m sure he was looking for goofy-@ss Ashton Kutcher to pop out any moment with cameras and the MTV van! *Siiiigh* It was real though and when President Obama commented on his dear friend’s humiliating ordeal the arresting officer basically told the leader of the free world “NUNYA “and that it was a local matter not for the president (although he did eagerly accept the invite for cold brewskies on the White House lawn…)
President Obama’s REAL Response: Officer Crawley refused to apologize for racial profiling not to mention his retaliating against Dr. Gate's ‘Uppity-Negro’ behavior, instead President Obama was the one that apologized for ‘butting in’....
The “Negro Dialect” Option: "Awww dayummmm, you-musta’-lost-your-flat-footed-mind if you think I’mma let you mess with my dawg, Skip Gates!…(HARVARD, where you at?...STAND UP! )Naw, you misunderstood officer; I didn’t say ‘Teachable Moment’… I said “BEAT-able moment!’ …Secret Service….um, handle this!"
7. “ The Elizabeth Hasselbeck” Factor: Every show has it’s villain and in the case of the daily cluck-fest ‘The View”, Elizabeth is not only the show’s resident evil, token-right winger but the biggest critic of President Obama…every day. From day one Elizabeth
President Obama’s REAL Response: He once asked how she would feel if someone compiled a media clip of her five stupidest gaffes, other than that he ignores her.
The “Negro Dialect” Option: "Dayummm, b*tch will you get off my back already??!
You don’t even know me like that to be coming out yo’ mouth with all this yackity-smackity! I’m handling mines, ‘K’….get-at-me-in-2012 when the economy is back on the rise….now run-tell-dat!"
6. The White House party crashers: In our country’s current “War-On-Terrorism-Big Brother is Watching” state, how could this even happen? Nevertheless, these fame-whores just strolled right on up to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
President Obama’s REAL Response: He calmly expressed his displeasure; saying “I’m unhappy with everybody who was involved in the process; it was a screw-up that won’t happen again"
The “Negro Dialect” Option: "OH-HELL-TO-THE-NAW!!!! Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind……( wait for it)…. UP IN HERE, …UP IN HERE! .. Whatchu’ mean “I’m sorry sir, it was a security breech??” Who y’all secret-servicing for …the Klan??
Now sit-yo-five-dollar-@sses-down-before-I-make-change;...never liked any of ya’ anyway; pretty-Men-In-Black-lookin’ -@#!^%*&$#+=@’s"
5. The “NY Post” Cartoon with the dead monkey: Back in February of last year, a cartoonist thought it would be hilarious to draw police shooting a monkey dead and apparently this very same monkey wrote the stimulus bill( that’s some primate!)
This cartoon debuted a day after President Obama signed the economic recovery bill
thus leading many to protest; including Al Sharpton who felt The “NY Post's” comparison between a dead, bill-signing monkey and our nations’ president was as about as subtle as Frankenstein ( and probably more evil)
President Obama’s REAL Response: None on the record, although the editor apologized (sort of, all the while defending the cartoon)
The “Negro Dialect” Option: "Ohhhhh, I’m supposed to be a monkey now?
I tell you, if it ain’t one thing it’s another. Well, I got your monkey-bar right here pawt-nuh’.... SWING ON THIS, BEEYOTCH!"
4. “The New Yorker” cover featuring Barack Obama and Michelle Obama: It’s hard to believe that almost two years ago, one badly-drawn magazine cover could stir up so many different emotions in the hearts and minds of Americans. Those who were pro-Obama felt “The New Yorker” cover : which featured a turban-wearing, Muslim-ish Obama and a AK-47 toting, terrorist-looking Michelle ‘fist-bumping’ in conspiracy while the American flag burns from behind, was the LAST image that needed to be planted in the heads of voters-on-the-fence. Naturally, if you were against Obama, you called it merely good-natured ‘satire’. I had a LOT of names to call that cartoon; satire wasn’t one of them…or funny for that matter.
President Obama’s REAL Response: He didn’t, only to say “No Comment”
The “Negro Dialect” Option: "This is some fraggle-nackle bull right here! First they condemn me for being down with Reverend Wright and now I’m a Muslim??.. Hmmm, I think I know exactly where to trim the fat off for the next stimulus plan."
3. Rush Limbaugh’s “Obama The Magic Negro” song: Amidst a long list of never-ending, anti-propaganda against Barack Obama during the 2008 election, Rush Limbaugh thought it would be funny to play (ad nauseum) a racist song parody of “Puff The Magic Dragon” about a: “non threatening Great-Black-Hope who will ease feelings of white guilt over slavery and racial injustice and win the election”. It must have worked …Awww, Rush should be soooo proud!
President Obama’s REAL Response: No comment.
The“Negro Dialect” Option: "What-evah man, if you wanna’ do a song so bad, make one about yo’-self! How ‘bout “Rush The Cigar-Smoking Dragon” …OR better yet “Rush The puffy-faced-pill-poppin’-fat-@ss who’s-about-to-catch-a-case”… sing-along-to that!"
2. "Drunken Negro Face" cookies (in honor of Obama): Now these cookies ain’t from those cute Keebler elves in the tree-house, more like a dumb troll in Greenwich village who somehow thought his crass culinary concoctions would be non-offensive. Whether this idiot baker believed his own bullsh#t or not, he got what he wanted….national attention along with hate mail that is probably displayed prominently in his bakery, right next to his swastika collection.
President Obama’s REAL Response: No comment.
The“Negro Dialect” Option: "Whaaat? Now I got ‘baker-haters’ makin’ hate cookies and sayin’ I’m gonna’ live out Abraham Lincoln’s legacy??? That’s some tough talk for a man who wears an apron all day…I’m sayin’. Oooh, I wish-a-baker-would!... How ‘bout I do MY job and you do yours, doughboy!"
.and the number 1# hater President Obama could have used ‘Negro- Dialect’ on is ( drum roll please)…. The FOX News Channel:
What most folks would call disrespect bordering on obsession, is really a daily ‘Obama love-infestation’ over at the conservative-bent FOX news: with all the attention from the feud between the current administration and them, viewers are tuning in and FOX’s ratings ( and fear) are up now more than ever…why, they should send him a card, without the ‘Obama-Drama’ they wouldn't have a show! Aside from being the first broadcast network to turn down a request by President Barack Obama to air a news conference they seem to take turns between Glen Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly and very soon Sara Palin between who can find more holes in the health plan, and in Beck’s case comparing the president to ‘Marxism’ and even Hitler ( and if that ain’t the rope calling the Klan hat white…) Maybe they should make it into a game with tequila shots…then again they probably already do ,between commercials.
President Obama’s REAL Response: He suggested that they weren’t operating as a news outlet but with a format suited more for “talk radio” and that “it's not something I'm losing sleep over."
The “Negro Dialect”Option: (Singing) “You can hate me now, but I won’t stop now…you think I’ve come this far to let you stop me now?...I ain’t gon’ ever stop!"
( fades to Black….)
